“…I’ma Show You How To Do This”

Tee Chavis circa 1967

I have been having to recurring dream/vision of me saying to my deceased father “Don’t worry, I got this, I’ma show you how to do this.”   The thing that bothers me most about this dream/vision is what he says before.   He says “Listen, don’t do what I did”.   As a parent, I still can never fathom another parent voluntarily not playing a major role in their children’s lives.

One day while playing with my kids, I became very bitter about my father not being around and missing my childhood.  Growing up without my father playing a major role had a major effect on me that I never even knew.  I lost my father to the streets and drugs very earlier.  It wasn’t until my first son, Jordan being born in 2006 that my father cleaned up.  Because he wanted to be a part of his grandchildren’s lives he made a serious effort to stay clean.  In January 2008, my father passed away from pneumonia and although I never learned what to do as a father, I definitely learned what not to do.

After Jordan, I made the decision that “My curse will be my children’s blessing”.  They will never have to worry about whether Daddy can come to a game, performance or a parent/teacher night.  I felt like I missed out on a lot in my childhood, but because I know that feeling of disappointment, I never want my kids to feel that way…EVER.  I was nervous about being a good father.  I went to seminars, read books but it wasn’t until I started to reflect on how I felt in various situations that I may not know what to do but I definitely know what not to do.  Og Mandino writes that one of the keys to promote success is to avoid failure.  I think that I have seen enough failure to avoid.  Hey Dad, “don’t worry, I got this, I’ma show you how to do this”  Be blessed, #bedynamic

Tyrone “Tee” Chavis R.I.P.

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“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of #attitude on life.” ~Anonymous

I don’t know exactly where I found that quote but it is a direct reflection of me and my growth.

#Attitude is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. What you do in life is a direct result of the #attitude you have (and display)!

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the #attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We spend a lot of time trying to change people and what they do but we can change our reactions to them and what they do. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our #attitude. We have all seen or heard the quote “life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it.”   I know, it is easier said than done but it takes work.  We have to deliberately choose to look at the positive side of things realizing problems are really challenges with an opportunity to grow.  The bottom line is, we are in charge of our #attitudes, so take charge.

Be blessed, #bedynamic

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And Now A Word From Our Sponsor — Servant Leadership

The biggest need of the church today is leadership. People are willing to follow God’s vision but have no exposure to vision and/or effective leadership. Over my lifetime while worshiping in church I have noticed decline in the strong leadership in the church and especially the black church. I am a strong believer that everything rises and falls on leadership. The crazy part is that most believers become convinced that when they follow Christ, they must become sheepish, quiet and withdrawn, confusing meekness with weakness.  EVERYONE plays a part in leadership in the church and it is OK to question decisions made by leadership without being ostracized.

In March 2009, I took on a major project at my previous church and I was challenged and undermined by the leadership with no opportunity for discussion. I had restriction place on my small leadership role that had never been placed on anyone else in that church. Instead of getting angry I decided to pray and ask God for discernment in what was happening. I exited that place of worship. My sister who stayed at that church has gone through a similar situation in that a new “process” has been added for conflict resolution just for her case. There were six days/opportunities to address this conflict, instead the leader decided to address it during morning worship. All parties were prepared for this new “process” except for my 5 month pregnant sister leaving her to feel embarrassed. Two points came to mind to mind during my study of the book of Micah:

 “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” Micah 6:8

God holds leaders responsible for creating an environment of justice. God holds leaders accountable for creating healthy environments. The people learn to love justice and show mercy when their leader creates an environment for both. In both cases above, leadership created an unfair and unjust environment by not communicating with the parties involved. Morning worship is NOT the venue to resolve personal disputes.

“Both hands are skilled in doing evil; the ruler demands gifts, the judge who accepts brides, the powerful dictate what they desire – they are conspire together. The best of them is like a brier, the most upright worse than a thorn hedge. The day of your watchmen has come, the day God visits. Now is the time of their confusion” Micah 7:3, 4

Leaders who fail to practice servant leadership become self-serving. Without a cause to better the overall congregation and worship experience, this leader found a cause to serve their own (and their family’s) interest. This self-service eventually becomes a thorn in everything that will go on. In the examples exhibited, the leader made both decisions based on a personal preference and benefit for them and their family.

Be blessed, #bedynamic

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First Line of Defense

Forrest Griffin & Ty chilling at the Grappling Tournament

I had a blast at the UFC Fan Expo in Boston which included me getting a FREE ticket to UFC 118!  While attending the expo’s many attractions, I got all of the fighters’ perks (Free shirts, hats, supplements, bags etc.) even chilled with them in down time.  I realized that I got all of the attention because I looked like one of them, an MMA fighter.  It made me think about a book I read “Restoring the Male Image” by Alex O. Ellis.  In the book, Mr. Ellis talks about the impact of your image (from attire to walk) at times can be your first line of defense.  Wear a suit, people will initially treat you like a businessman, wear baggy jeans & baseball cap people will initially treat you like a thug (in many cases) and in my case wear a tight fighter t-shirt & flip-flops and you’ll get treated like a MMA fighter (in UFC arenas).

When you go to a job interview or business meeting, people decide whether they want to work with you within the first 15 seconds, without any type of conversation.  The point is this, if you ever wondered why people treat you a certain way upon meeting you, they judged you based on your appearance.  I am not saying that this is right but as Earth Wind & Fire says “that’s the way, of the world”.  In this world of micro-branding, if you want the part, you have to look the part, play the part then be the part.  I think the next UFC event I attend, I’ll wear a suit….nah, I liked getting free stuff.  Be blessed, #bedynamic!

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If by Rudyard Kipling

Once in a while, I tend to whisper some of the words to this poem in my sons’ ears…exposing them to the difficult balance of being a man.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

#bedynamic

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And Now A Word From Our Sponsor – Put On!

11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ~Ephesians 6:11-17

I listen to a lot of Hip-Hop music and sometimes I think these guys can preach, and preachers can rap.  While listening to Jeezy & Kanye West’s song “Put On”, they talk about putting on for their city.  The basic premise to “Put On” means to “show off”, “put on a show” or “represent”.  This lead me to think who or what do I “put on” for.  We as Christians should “put on” for our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ.  But what are we putting on.  Before we put on out Sunday’s best, before we go to choir rehearsal, we need to put on the “full armor of God”.  Although we think the battles, trials & tribulations are with people, they are not.  We are battling “against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” so your best suit and practicing is cannot help with dealing with the challenges of the world.  So the next time you think about putting on, make sure you include these things:

  • The Belt of Truth
  • The Breastplate of Righteousness
  • The Shoes of Peace
  • The Shield of Faith
  • The Helmet of Salvation
  • The Sword of Spirit
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Test Of A Man

The test of a man is the fight that he makes;
The grit that he daily shows,
The way that he stands upon his feet,
and takes life’s numerous bumps and blows.
A coward can smile when there’s naught to fear,
And noting his progress bars.
But it takes a man to stand and cheer
while the other fellow stars.
It isn’t the victory after all,
But the fight that a Brother makes.
A man, when driven against the wall still stands erect
and takes the blows of fate with his
head held high, bleeding, bruised and pale,
Is the man who will win and fate defied,
For he isn’t afraid to fail.

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