Tag: manlaw

That’s life…

“That’s life, that’s what people say.  You’re riding high in April, on your back in May.  But I know I’m gonna change that tune, when I’m back on top in June…” ~ “That’s Life” by Frank Sinatra

It’s been a while and although I have learned how to embrace the adversity because of the lessons, I still need to learn how to appreciate the triumphs.  Five employment opportunities, the beginning of my journey to get my Psy.D, my beautiful family, and the daily opportunity to be better than I was yesterday.  Now everything isn’t perfect but I can really appreciate my many blessings, while embracing my adversity but hey…that’s life.  Enjoy the song! #BeDynamic

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And Now A Word From Our Sponsor…Who am I?

Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.

But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

1Timothy 1:13, 15-16

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What do people think of you…and who are you?

“Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of – for credit is like fire; when once you have kindled it you may easily preserve it, but if you once extinguish it, you will find it an arduous task to rekindle it again. The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” ~Socrates

I’m always sad to say that I heard and internalize this quote AFTER my reputation and name were ruined at my own hands.  I have done quite a few things that I am not proud of but the gifts of opportunity and time allows me to correct those wrongs that I have done.  But it’s a constant process that also takes character.

Through my rekindling of a positive reputation I realized the importance of “character”.  There is a big difference between reputation and character.  Your reputation is what others think of you; your character is what you really are.  I found that I didn’t like who I was and I also didn’t like what others thought of me.  The way I dealt with that is to ask the question “Who am I?”  Everyday during my mediation, while I am working throughout the day, and in each moment I try to I ask that question.  This constantly allows me to re-evaluate what I do which is a reflection of who I am.

It’s a tough, tedious process but in the end I pray that I can be better than my best reputation.  Be blessed, #BeDynamic

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#ApeMode

“I was not delivered unto this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep. I will hear not those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny…” ~Og Mandino

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And Now A Word From Our Sponsor…Keep Moving!

As I sit here on the eve of the year 2012, I’m thinking about the happenings of the 2011, my triumphs and pitfalls.  I am extremely blessed and I thank God for all of my blessings but there was one consistent feeling of emptiness that I felt throughout the year 2011.  It wasn’t until this morning, Friday, December 31st 2011, that I really came to grips with this feeling in regards to my relationship with God.

In case you don’t know, I am totally starting my life over, with NOTHING in hand.  I felt empty, but that feeling of emptiness can be a wonderful gift from God.  There is something about “nothing” that moves God’s hand.  I was distracted from His will, depending on myself and I wasn’t empty enough. God basically led me to a place of nothingness where I can lean on nothing but His provision.  And that is where I currently am.

The story of the prophet Elisha (2 Kings Chapter 4) really taught me that:

  • Emptiness is a gift from the Lord
  • Emptiness tells us we have a need
  • We must admit our emptiness
  • Only God can truly fill us.

Although I learned from the prophet Elisha, I may have learned even more from the destitute woman.  I realized that regardless of the situation or where I am, I must GET UP and keep moving toward my purpose.  While moving toward my purpose, I have to move past other people’s perception of me, whether good or bad.  And most important, I have to remember that my purpose is from God.

Happy New Year…Be blessed, #BeDynamic

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The Power To Surpass Myself

This is the first blog of 2011 which shows how focused I have been…I pray that you are blessed with the following thoughts.  I needed this…

I have to admit that I have truly been stuck in a rut for the past 6 months. We all need dreams, goals & aspirations because without them we would only feed our desire for pleasure. I have lost focus of my dreams. Forward looking dreams create in us a stronger character by encouraging to be & do more than where we are right now. Dreams stir up a restless heart, causing us to want to be more, do & achieve more also.

God created us with the ability to dream. He leads us to think beyond our ordinary, moment-to-moment existence. I haven’t followed nor really reflected on my dreams and when you do that, you can stifle a meaningful experience that gives greater meaning to your life. So where do I start to manifest the dreams that I have been blessed with?

Dreams require prayer. Before we do anything we must seek the will of God. Difficult dreams are not those that require us to do something , but those that require us to change. Dreams are fragile. They are private matters that are incomprehensible to others in most cases. If we share our dreams in the beginning will cause some second guessing because they don’t understand your vision. Criticism that our dreams cannot be realized can cause loss of confidence. And finally dreams require commitment & endurance. “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay” (Habakkuk 2:3). The worth of the dream is exemplified by the difficulty of realizing it.  Be blessed, #BeDynamic

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Happiness…where can you find it?

I know I haven’t posted in a while but there have been some life events, drama and “moments of clarity” that have brought me to this topic.  I finally feel like I am getting comfortable in my own skin, doing what I do best but more important, loving ME! Enjoy…

Through human interaction I find that we as people unfairly look for our happiness in others that will satisfy us.  Allow me to explain, most times when you think of the root reason that you hang with friends and/or family it is because they make you happy and satisfy that happiness with action and maybe even personality.  But once in a while, we are disappointed by people’s action when they are just being themselves, nothing personal against you.  We are then unhappy.  I am definitely guilty of this!  I have unfairly placed my wishes on someone who maybe is incapable of doing what I’d like for them to do…this made me unhappy.

But here is the kicker…in order to convince, I lost myself.  I acted in a different manner, did things I normally would NOT do, even changed my mentality.  I did all of those various things to “convince” that someone that they should do things that I wanted to do.  Once again, I lost myself but I also lost my happiness.  I got away from the things that made me smile and at peace with myself.  I am usually one of those people who accept people for who they are and where they are but in this case I wanted someone to do things that were not important to them.

So where do I go for my happiness?  After going through that disappointment for a long time, I went “back to the essence”.  I started to do things again as I would do before I relied on another for happiness.  The things that would put a smile on my face, I got back to.  The happiness that I was looking for was deep inside of me.  We place too much responsibility for our happiness on other people but if we just stop for a second and attempt to create happiness for someone else, it’s a satisfying experience.  If you just be yourself, love yourself and give a little happiness to others, I guarantee you that the happiness that you think of will come out of you and not come at you.

Bottom line, I am always willing to attempt to make others happy around me but I, we cannot compromise our character and/or personality to appease to get what we want from others.  I am happy that I have corrected my error, because by being happy with myself, I can make others happier.

Be blessed, #BeDynamic

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“MAN”ifesto!

**WARNING: Today’s entry is an excerpt from a long email that I received almost 3 years ago.  It’s a good piece that is very empowering for men (which we don’t see very often).  Please enjoy.  Be blessed, #BeDynamic.

Okay, I’ve been noticing an influx of new members asking certain questions, like “What should I do about my girlfriend?”, “How do I attract women?”, and even “Is my d*ck long enough to satisfy a woman?” In the end, I wonder… W-T-F?!?! Seriously, bros, I’m not going to go out and take away your man-points. Instead, I’ll go off on a tangent on how to increase your personal manliness and self respect. It all starts here:

(A) Learn to respect yourself as a man. Self-confidence cannot be over-emphasized. If you are wondering if you have enough self-confidence, then you don’t. Granted, it’s not an easy thing to learn how to increase; there’s no one way to go about it. The only thing I can tell you is to go achieve something for yourself. Do something that you feel is worthwhile and respectable. If you have a lack of confidence in yourself, it’s because you haven’t given yourself a reason to have any. It all starts there.

(B) Don’t give a flying f-ck what anyone says about you, unless they’ve somehow earned your respect. Ever. You know why I don’t give a crap about man-points? Because I’d only accept them from very few people in my life, who’ve earned the right to have their opinions matter to me. If anyone criticizes you on anything, (like a complete stranger, some chick, or someone you just met) and they haven’t earned the *right* to do so in your eyes, screw ’em. That’s part of self-respect, in the essence that you only respect the opinions of yourself, and those whom you deem worthy of it or more wise than you are. Never let any random dumb-f-ck drag you down needlessly.

(C) Be of some meaning to this world. A man truly only serves one of two things: either himself, which carries no honor… anyone can please their own whims easily, and it only leads to more and more un-manly greed. Either that, or he can choose to serve something higher, whatever he feels that is. Do not dedicate your life solely to yourself; find something bigger than yourself to serve and work for in life. That also leads back to self-respect; you must recognize yourself as a worthy addition to whatever you choose to serve in that respect.

(D) Understand that women have a completely different role in life, and are really NOT THAT BAD. I know that this one may be hard to swallow – hell, a lot of women don’t even get it themselves, what with the feminist movement and their crazy emotions and all – but understand and know that we really are, and have been, the world’s natural leaders. All men who are truly worthwhile show their alpha tendencies from time to time, some more than others; however, very few women can achieve this same form of mindset. And, what is the key to an alpha mindset? Like I said… self respect. If you have a good amount of respect for yourself, you won’t care what unworthy women think about you… because you know *they* are the ones missing out, not you.

So, for everyone in these forums, especially those who are wondering about themselves, this is the best advice I can give. In closing, a huge d-ck doesn’t make you a man. Somehow getting a woman doesn’t make you a man. NOTHING makes you a man except YOURSELF, and RESPECTING YOURSELF. It’s up to YOU to gather the confidence in yourself necessary to move your own mountains, part your own seas, and truly make the world your bitch. After all, you are all men, and it is your birthright… it is up to you to claim it.

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“…I’ma Show You How To Do This”

Tee Chavis circa 1967

I have been having to recurring dream/vision of me saying to my deceased father “Don’t worry, I got this, I’ma show you how to do this.”   The thing that bothers me most about this dream/vision is what he says before.   He says “Listen, don’t do what I did”.   As a parent, I still can never fathom another parent voluntarily not playing a major role in their children’s lives.

One day while playing with my kids, I became very bitter about my father not being around and missing my childhood.  Growing up without my father playing a major role had a major effect on me that I never even knew.  I lost my father to the streets and drugs very earlier.  It wasn’t until my first son, Jordan being born in 2006 that my father cleaned up.  Because he wanted to be a part of his grandchildren’s lives he made a serious effort to stay clean.  In January 2008, my father passed away from pneumonia and although I never learned what to do as a father, I definitely learned what not to do.

After Jordan, I made the decision that “My curse will be my children’s blessing”.  They will never have to worry about whether Daddy can come to a game, performance or a parent/teacher night.  I felt like I missed out on a lot in my childhood, but because I know that feeling of disappointment, I never want my kids to feel that way…EVER.  I was nervous about being a good father.  I went to seminars, read books but it wasn’t until I started to reflect on how I felt in various situations that I may not know what to do but I definitely know what not to do.  Og Mandino writes that one of the keys to promote success is to avoid failure.  I think that I have seen enough failure to avoid.  Hey Dad, “don’t worry, I got this, I’ma show you how to do this”  Be blessed, #bedynamic

Tyrone “Tee” Chavis R.I.P.

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